Dear Machesetsa’s would be killer
How dare you?
How dare you want to rob us of the most colorful personality in our body politic?
Do you really grasp the retrogressive consequences of your actions? Just imagine if your evil mission had succeeded. You would have robbed us of our only source of comic relief. Is that fair?
Take a close look at all our politicians? Without Machesetsa, Lesotho’s political field is as good as dead. Who exactly do you think will be capable of assuming his role of keeping us well entertained? Who? You tell me would be killer?
Without Machesetsa our political scene will be as dumb and as dull as outer space.
This is why I thank God your evil mission failed. Apart from keeping Basotho well entertained with his carefully calibrated antics and theatrics, there is also no doubt that Machesetsa is a truly brave man, not afraid to accumulate enemies. Today he is your friend, tomorrow he is your enemy? Tomorrow he is your enemy, the next day, he is your friend. Sometimes he is neither friend nor enemy: neither fish nor fowl. He is just there.
He is the living testimony of Franklin Roosevelt’s old age dictum that in politics, there should be no permanent friends or enemies but permanent interests. Machesetsa is a truly gifted politician. That’s why your sin of wanting to kill him is unforgivable.
Combativeness
And talk of his combativeness? Where in this world would you ever expect to find such a combative fellow? Witness what happened on the night of his shooting?
With three bullets lodged in his spine, one would have expected Machesetsa to be a bit modest to the staff upon his arrival at Maseru Private. After all, he needed their help. His very life was on the line. But alas. Machesetsa will always be Machesetsa.
Instead, he told the staff he was not happy with his previous negative experiences with them and he was not sure they would be any better this time round. So, as they tried to attend to him, he stormed out of Maseru Private and headed to Bloem with a bullet still lodged between his rib and scapula.
Now tell me you would be killer, where have you ever seen such level of combativeness? Why did you want to spoil our party by taking this man from us? I am not sure what happened in Bloem. But I am confident he would have been equally assertive. That perhaps explains why he was released early. The staff there would have attended to him on his terms. Even on his potential death bed, Machesetsa retains his gumption, never afraid to tell it like it is. I admire his bravery.
If I were ever to be a recipient of three bullets myself, I would be more circumspect. I would take time to fully recover before I return to business, no matter how all of you my fans will plead for my return. But again, not Machesetsa. He is back at the office already. This week, he harangued the NSS for trying to derail the police probe into his shooting. Apparently, the arrest of you would be killer is imminent. But according to Machesetsa, the NSS wants to spoil the party?
You still need to be very afraid. I don’t think the NSS will assist you in evading arrest. Now that Machesetsa has gone on record by exposing them, it means your days are numbered would be killer. If I were you, I would just surrender to the police rather than risk being raided and arrested in front of your nyatsi and your step-children. We need to see your face sooner would be killer. You need to be held accountable for your evil actions. For wanting to take our one and only Machesetsa, I have a few insults for you would be killer. You are a skunk. You are a son of a whore? Please turn yourself in. And once in, you must be tried and convicted and put in the same cell with Kamoli while the two of you await the hangman.
Of “Dr” Lipholo and “stolen” land
Dear “Dr” Tṧepo Lipholo,
It gives me utmost pleasure to address my second letter to you in the same column after reaching out to Machesetsa’s evil would be killer.
Firstly “Dr” Lipholo, are you really a doctor? If so when and where did you earn your “doctorate” from. I ask because it’s reasonable to expect someone with a doctorate to have a decent level of reasoning and certainly not have the brain of a mouse. And I say this with all due respect to mice. They are very useful creatures. They might be small. But they have similar genealogy to human beings. Which is why they are often used for experiments for all substances invented for humans.
Are you perhaps a medical or academic doctor? If you are a medical doctor, you will never see me at your surgery? If you are an academic doctor, then you surely must have obtained your doctorate from that same “university” in Mdantsane as ‘M’e ‘Maesaiah?
Or could it be a result of a typo era that my colleagues at the Lesotho Times refer to you as “Dr”?
If you are indeed an academic doctor, then I will stop aiming for a doctorate myself because it means there is no value in education.
For how can a really educated doctor ever believe there is a chance in hell of Lesotho reclaiming its “stolen” land from South Africa.
Do you actually believe the Free State and parts of KwaZulu Natal and Eastern Cape will ever be “reincorporated” into Lesotho? If you do, then you can believe anything Ntate Lipholo. If I tell you I am the next Pope, you surely will believe me as well.
And I would certainly want to know those Basotho whom you conned into donating for your trip to the USA.
Did anyone of them seriously believe Antonio Guterres or Donald Trump were going to give you an audience or even allow you to meet their secretaries or toilet cleaners? Any Basotho who believed you is equally depraved.
I liked the bit of you saying you did not meet Trump in person, but you gave your petition to his secretary and you saw the latter taking the petition to Trump? Which means you were actually granted access to the White House. Do you take us for fools Ntate Lipholo? We are not fools. The only fools are those who donated their hard earned cash for your trip.
Why did you not just put out a call that you were seeking donations for a free holiday in the US with your latest young nyatsi? Did you honestly think your wife believed you when you lied to her that you were going to meet with Trump to get his help in reclaiming the land South Africa “stole” from Lesotho? And why do you honestly believe lunatic Trump is the best person to assist? Don’t you know that no one in the world takes Trump seriously? Not even Melania does? That’s why she uses a separate bedroom. Why did you not go to seek Kagame’s help or even Putin or even Xi Xinping, men with real balls of steel?
And what the hell did Japan Mntambo think he was doing helping you access a visa? Now he has lost his job, just like all Basotho who donated to your trip, thinking that you would really bring back the “stolen” land, have also lost their money? I don’t feel for them either.
When all is said and done, I cannot blame you Ntate Lipholo….Your misadventures are the reason why I am opposed to our electoral system and its potential to put every boyfriend and nyatsi “political party” like yours into parliament. Your Basotho Covenant Movement (BCM) doesn’t sound like a joke to me. It is not funny at all. It sounds more like a hoax?
In fact, it is a total hoax.
And while you are busy on your futile mission to reclaim Lesotho’s “stolen” land, your BCM has not proffered a single viable idea about how Lesotho can become economically prosperous. At least the RFP are trying in terms of promising us prosperity. After all politics is about promises? You are not even promising us any future prosperity. Your “party” has never produced a manifesto?
You haven’t even told us what you want to do with all the land you want “returned”.
Has Lesotho run out of land for its car wash entrepreneurs?
I am glad that Ntate Sam’s government is not taking you seriously? Only those Basotho whom you conned into sponsoring your trip seems to have taken you seriously?
Lastly, which new nyatsi of yours accompanied you on your US junket? Please don’t con Basotho again under the pretext that you want to make a follow up trip to Trump to bring back Lesotho’s “stolen” land.
Ache!!!!
