Which bar animal are you?

BOTTOMS UP WITH BACCHUS

 

HAVE you ever wondered why a nightclub is sometimes called a watering hole? If you thought it was simply because people go there to quench their thirst, think again.

Each person in that place is like an animal at a watering hole out there in the bundu. It’s a jungle out there, so you’d better figure out which animal you are fast.

Take a place like Litaleng, for example, one of Maseru’s better-known zoos – teeming with animals especially at the weekends.

Next time you set foot inside the place take a minute to check out all the animals present.

You will see the king of the jungle. He is the lion, the hunter who has scored many victories in battles past.

His mane is not visible, of course, because it is his car outside. Usually it’s a big SUV or luxury sedan. Only when he is sitting inside it does his mane surround his face.

Usually he has a lioness or two in tow. He will maul anyone who tries to take them and the lionesses in turn will fight any hyenas who try to scavenge what the king has killed, which is usually food and beer.

Speaking of hyenas, you will find both male and female members of this species at a watering hole. The male species cannot hunt for itself —  it cannot buy even a single beer, be it for itself or for its girlfriend. It therefore usually waits for a lion to do this and scavenge like hyenas usually do.

Just like in the jungle, hyenas often end up in a pickle when they try to steal what the lion has killed. Female hyenas like to eat what they have not hunted too, but they are often more wily in their tactics.

Of course, not all animals in the watering hole are predators. You will also find monkeys who love to boogie around the dance floor since there are no trees to play in at such a place.

On the barstool there is usually an elephant who is downing elephant-size portions of beer and food but whose presence no one dares question.

There are also rhinos spoiling for a fight, cheetahs who run at the slightest hint of trouble and leopards who never change their spots — each time you come they are sitting in the same one.

I will not waste time here talking about likuena, the crocodiles, who you will find lurking in the dark corners at this place, because we all know how they bite.

However, in a zoo setting such as this one, Likuena’s favourite food is chicken — meaning those poor lads who are too chicken, either to bring their own girls to the watering hole or to find a girl at all.

Remember though that likuena being likuena will eat any other animal whenever a chance presents itself.

So, which animal are you?

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