Lesotho Times

The silliness of our politics

S

crutator has had it to the back teeth with the childishness of politicians in this country.

When it comes to pettiness our politicians just can’t help themselves.

It’s as if they wake up every day and say, “Mmmm, it’s been long since I did something really daft”.

For a long time the politicians of this country have made it a point to pick something unique from the Big Book of Silly Acts to avoid confusion and competition.

The ground rule of what silly act to pick from the book was that you had to select an act that someone had not tried before.

That is why while all politicians in this country are generally pathetic each has a unique way of silliness.

The bottom-line is that inanity is overflowing in the political arena.

 

C

redit must however go to the politicians for resisting the temptation to pick up similar tricks from the Big Book of Silly Acts.

Each politician has been ridiculous in their own special way.

That is why there has been some harmony in the political field.

But last week two leaders decided to violate that rule of unique childishness when they picked the same silly act from the book.

Prime Minister Pakalitha Mosisili and Moeketse Malebo woke up last Wednesday and both said “Eish it’s been long since I did something truly silly. I think I am going to start a fight today”.

So over breakfast both men flipped through the big book of high jinks and, as fate would have it, they zeroed in on one page.

“If you really want a fight never let reason, self-respect and decorum stop you from getting angry. Just start a fight and fight,” the Big Book of Silly Acts said.

One was sitting in the State House while the other was at his house in Maseru West but when they read that statement both nodded their grey-haired heads.

“Mmmm, that must be a unique act of silliness,” their old mouths said.

By the time they got to the United Nations House where they had been called to a meeting by the Christian Council of Lesotho, Malebo and Mosisili were already fuming before they were even provoked.

They didn’t need to be provoked to start a fight because they had already decided this was a day to pick a fight and fight.

 

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o when Malebo asked Mosisili why he had so many soldiers around him Mosisili, already angry, responded with a cheeky answer.

Scrutator wasn’t there but she has an idea of what could have happened.

Mosisili must have said: “Look here old man it’s not my problem that you have been in politics over 40 years but you have never ruled this country.

“If you want to enjoy the benefits of being protected by gunmen who are paid by taxpayers then you better wait until you become the prime minister. Until then you must just zip it or I will hit you so hard that you wish you were never born.”

Malebo might have been shocked that Mosisili was stealing his trick by rushing to start a fight but before he could have answered Mosisili, in his usual spiteful manner, must have delivered another sting.

“Poor old Malebo I understand your bitterness because instead of political ambitions all you have now is a bucketlist”.

That sure got Malebo hopping mad.

“Mosisili you better learn some manners young man. I joined politics before you could learn to put on your pants without leaning against a wall. Mind your language with me, I am not Lehohla”.

Realising that his wish for a fight was just about to be granted Mosisili must have told Malebo “to go tell that nonsense to the mountain”.

Malebo who by now was shaking with anger must have reminded Mosisili that he deserves some respect because he started herding goats before Mosisili was not even an idea.

That did the trick because Mosisili jumped from his seat like someone had placed a fire under it.

He invited Malebo to a fight.

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crutator can tell you now that she is disappointed that the two men didn’t actually get to exchange blows.

It would have been a fantastic match: Malebo would have beaten rudeness out of Mosisili and Mosisili would have beaten arrogance out of Malebo.

Either way the country would have benefited immensely.

I mean how many of us wish they could just grab a politician by the scruff of his neck and beat the daylights out of them?

Scrutator will not lie; she has fantasised about the idea of beating a politician.

I wish I could just round up our politicians and give them a few spanks for being ridiculous.

If Mosisili had beaten Malebo he would have done exactly what Scrutator has been itching to do for a long time.

The same applies if Malebo had beaten Mosisili.

I am sure I speak for many on that one. It’s just that some people don’t say it loudly because they are afraid to rock the boat and lose tenders.

Scrutator is not a tenderpreneur so she can speak her mind today, tomorrow and forever.

 

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ut on a serious note the exchange between the two men clearly indicates the shallowness of our politics.

When it comes to the quality of political leadership, this country is cursed.

It’s as if we arrived late when God had already given all the best political brains to other nations.

It’s as if we got political brains that everyone else had rejected.

In the end what we got are political leaders who are simply demagogues bereft of ideas.

Yet we must not cry too much about our plight for other countries like South Africa and Zimbabwe had the same misfortune.

They too picked brains from the junkyard.

After Nelson Mandela South Africa has had pathetic excuses for presidents.

Robert Mugabe, that mad man who has refused to go yonder despite exhausting his long bucketlist, had something between his ears until he ate something toxic.

The results of that toxic meal are there for everyone to see.

In Lesotho it’s the same old story.

Because there is a dire lack of exceptional politicians average minds find themselves in parliament and other key positions.

In the end this reflects in the quality of debate we have among our politicians.

For evidence of this unfortunate scenario look no further than the heated argument that almost led to a fight between Mosisili and Malebo.

And you ask why there has been no robust debate on policies in this election.

Now you know why almost half a century after independence this country has been left behind by the rest of the world and why it’s not catching up. Phew!

 

O

n an entirely different note, Scrutator read with sadness the story of a police officer who killed a soldier after a fight over a nun in Mafeteng.

Rumour has it that the nun had double-crossed the men.

What we learn from this story is that the idea of celibacy is just absurd.

It goes against hormones. The nun clearly wanted the best of both worlds.

They say variety is the spice of life.

If I rubbed you the wrong way lets chat through scrutator29@gmail.com on Thursday from 3pm to 4pm.

Ache!

Scrutator

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