BOTTOMS UP WITH BACCHUS
DURING our time at the college of intoxication and merry-making, it was every initiate’s all-time favorite pastime to extol the deity of wine through poetry and drama.
Some enacted after-binge brawls, while others depicted how to treat the fairer sex at drinking holes and wild shindigs.
But one dude was, in an astonishing feat, inducted into the college’s hall of fame after reciting what still ranks as arguably the best artistic work in praise of the one who makes you, me and everyone happy forever.
Here go some excerpts:
A really cold beer is satisfying
You normally do not find old beer
If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off
You can always be sure if you are the first one to open a bottle or can
If you shake up a beer it will get all agitated but it eventually settles down
You always know how much beer is going to cost
Beer does not have a mother
Beer never expects to be hugged for half-an-hour after you drink it . . .
Need I go on?
No, beer is a clear winner!
I know your fertile imagination is already at work.
And then there was a real-life story which is still popular at the college even up to this day.
A new wife was being welcomed at her new husband’s home in a traditional manner.
As expected she gave a speech. Let’s call her Red Wine.
“My dear family, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family,” she said, standing in front of a sizeable family gathering.
“First, my being here does not mean that I would want to change your way of life, your routine,” she continued.
“No, I will never do that, never in a million years.”
“What do you mean my child?” asked Ntate Hansa, the father-in-law.
“What I mean ntate is . . .,” Red Wine said, looking at her in-laws.
“Those who used to wash the dishes must carry on washing them.
“Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it.
“Those who cooked should not stop at my account.
“And those who used to clean should continue cleaning!”
“And what are you here for?” asked the mother-in-law.
“As for me, I’m just here to entertain your son,” Red Wine answered.
Phew! Gimme one!