I AM sure most people have seen or at least read about the video that went viral on the internet, costing a prison warder and a police officer their jobs and maybe even their marriages.
For those of you who have been living under the rock, been at sea and just docked or have been to the moon and have just re-entered earth or maybe you just do not read much newspapers — let me give you a “quickie” (pun intended) synopsis of this real-life porn clip (but then, it would mean you do not even have any interesting conversations with the company you keep and you are a techno-hermit; as all social media were abuzz with it!)
Oh well, I am not here to judge, so let me give you the “quickie”!
Setting: Some kind of an office Characters: A police officer — female, a prison warden — male Scene: A clandestine hurried romp.
I will not go into further details as this is a family newspaper, but I will tell you this, I haven’t laughed this hard in ages!
You can tell that these two have had this kind of thing before because they got right into the act comfortably.
But I will say this, they are not good at it! They tried some oral action — and it is either the “gentleman” did not know how or the lady is not used to such things.
And if you look closely, you wonder if there was any real action — unless all the guy wanted was friction!
I guess maybe that is why they did not bother to use any protection!
Oh Snap — does this mean the cop’s husband might be raising kids that are not his?
Mind-boggling!
So, they are both married, eish poor spouses!
Hey, I know that sort of thing happens a lot, every corner of the world; my understanding of an affair is it must be “under carpet” kapa joang?
Can you imagine getting an email from a friend (a cruel friend) with the subject “LOL Caught on Tape” you watch it and it is your spouse.
And what about the publication?
They paraded the picture on the front page! Seriously, if my husband had a haircut like that, I would know him; even with that silly black square on his face.
I have always wondered why so many prisoners escape from custody and crime is so rampant in our neighbouring state — now I think I get it — they got better things to do.
Anyway, this got me thinking; what would I do if I woke up one morning and found my wiggly jiggly bits on the front page of an international newspaper, with a link to check out the full clip on the said newspaper’s website!?
Die!
Actually, that is die of laughter!
Granted, yes it would be embarrassing as hell, but what else is there to do? Look, it is your responsibility to ensure such things do not fall into the wrong hands, right?
Ok, the first real responsibility is to refrain from taking explicit pictures and videos.
But really, phone companies are making that so hard because they keep upgrading the quality of their phones to match video cameras, the temptation is just so strong!
Yeah, sometimes you are a victim of hidden cameras — people can be so conniving and nasty — Smile you are on Candid Camera!
Personally I will admit I have taken pictures and an occasional raunchy video, so yes there is a high possibility that they will slither out of the woodwork and closets one day to haunt me and poke me in the ribs with their bony skeletal fingers.
And believe me, this can happen in so many ways; a bitter ex who wants to get even can post them (there are many reported cases).
A lost phone with a folder of these intimate pictures and/ videos is found by someone who may or may not know you and she or he thinks it will be hilarious to show them to the rest of the world.
Worse still, your email account can be hacked into and your sordid secrets are aired for the world to gawk and guffaw at!
So, no matter how much you trust whoever you send pictures of you baring all or you participate in an amateur porn shoot with, know that we might end up poring over them for our amusement.
And since these incriminating records are not safe anywhere, the most logical thing to do — Do not do it!
For those who already have, like me, it is really useless to rush and delete them from whatever hidden folder, especially when you have shared themwith someone.
So I give you this free advice — there is a classic line to get you out of the whole mess (as if…) — IT WASN’T ME!! that’s my story and I am sticking to it.
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