Home Comment STEAMING IT OFF: The enigma of red roses

STEAMING IT OFF: The enigma of red roses

by Lesotho Times

Jo! Bathong! This past weekend was something else! Something different…ok not really but then…

After work Friday, I literally started seeing red! What!

For a minute I imagined I had just been afflicted by a really bad, warped case of instantaneous colour blindness.

Scar y hey! I tell you, everywhere and everything I looked there was a combination of RED! Faded reds, dark reds, and glaring reds icky reds…eeeuuuwww!

Every shop window lining our silly excuse of a main street was decorated with flurry, shiny, mushy red ‘thingies’…!

Just as I was about to panic and scream out for help – I spied a lady vendor with a table laden with an assortment of really strange frills and ribbons decorating mugs, teddy bears, plastic roses and other things I really do not know! (I seem t be fresh out of big words/terms). The table was adorned with a huge banner proudly proclaiming “VALENTINE” gifts!

Oh SNAP (palm to forehead)! How dense can you get Molebz? Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day! OMW!!

While I was gawking and feeling rather dim-witted, I tripped and could have lost part of my already missing teeth, if it had not been for a kind, quick lady, wearing a red top, white skirt, a pair of unsightly red shoes and an unmatching red handbag! LMBAO!! Ooh Valentine…

My walking companion pointed out that I had tripped because I was nasty and karma was at work. Then when she started nattering about it being Friday the 13th, I switched off and her voice faded off in a drone that sounded like a chopper in the distance.

Another thing was, I was too embarrassed to find any words to explain to her how I had nearly just lost my (already short) teeth because of my utter ignorance of such a lovely day.

Anyway, for those of you who are like me or worse, Valentine’s Day is apparently a day ‘lovers’ celebrate their love for each other by buying each other trinkets (in red) and make lovey-dovey faces at each other – from when the sun comes up until it sets (you can guess what happens after!)

I hear you sighing and shaking your head at me sadly because of the definition I just gave!

If you have a better one, please do not hesitate to drop me contributions, I love learning!

I seriously have a problem with the concept; for a zillion excuses- and I will humbly list only eehhh…let’s see…I think it will be better if you read below and make up your own conclusions about how many they will be and what you really do think of this glorious over – red-leadenly day of lovers.

Eish, this is one cash cow that will never dry.

Every one of us (the money-grabbers) cash-in on this day one way or the other.

The fake roses, the sweets and chocolates, mugs, cards, bears and outfits! People, you know you do not have to really put on a red and whit outfit, really because kind of looks childish.

Don’t forget you can also make money by selling tissue on this day because it brings a lot of tears for others.

I believe people do not know how to celebrate the 14th of February. In fact most desecrate the day.

Look, the legend goes, a saint was killed in the name of love, akere? A Saint!  If that is the case then why is this so holy day celebrated by people perpetrating extra-marital affairs and all those other sacrilegious affairs?

Uena, you took an oath in front of God and a whole of people dressed to the nines then you go behind your partner’s back and pass little knick-knack and baubles all wrapped up in pretty glossy paper for your other sweetheart(s).

There are guys (and girls) who I know are quite good at that. Well, sometimes it is not a serious relationship like as marriage but still hao monna!

There is this guy who is a master of “mass purchasing”. He buys the same gifts by the number; depending on how many women he has, wraps them up in the same style attach cards with the same silly messages and sends them.

Each one of those lasses is going to feel extra special on that day, not knowing she is part of a list.

Look, ha ke rere but really now, you can tell me all those girls are your extra loved Valentines? Chehe, I dunno!

My other problem is the actual celebration(s). On this fateful day people go out of their ways to show you how much they love you.

Your man comes home from wherever the heck he has been with a bunch of fake roses and a box of cheap chocolate and a sheepish smile, trying to stutter those three little words he ignores saying throughout the year. Today he has the plastic roses, every other day he has a pair of boxing gloves custom-made for you.

Bah humbug to you Valentine.

Hey each to his/her own way of celebrating his/her love but really why do you have to be such a hypocrite about it?

There are some people who have had their hearts been broken badly on this day. Sounds really pathetic getting dumped on Valentine, don’t you think?

Personally I would rather get dumped on Valentine’s Day than be duped on Valentine’s Day.

If he loves you let him hold your hand every single day, not on that one day.

But there are ways to avoid disappointment.

Because bitchy friends will be gloating into your ears about some cheap presents from some jack of a boyfriend, you can simply buy yourself that beautiful bunch of red flowers and send them to yourself.

That way you are sure to be part of the Valentines’ hype.

I means, if no one is willing to do it then go ahead and treat yourself girl!

It’s called fitting in and there is nothing wrong about it.

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