Home Scrutator  Not so silly a season after all…

 Not so silly a season after all…

by Lesotho Times


Dear Ntate Teboho Mojapela

Hope I find you well.

The campaign period towards political elections is normally dubbed the silly season.  This because it is generally accepted as the period of silliness in which politicians go about manufacturing all make believe grandiose promises beyond the realm of reality. From pledges to dig rivers to build bridges,  promises of jobs for everyone – when it is impossible for any country to get employment for all its people  – to pledges to manufacture rockets to Jupiter – when we do not have enough four plus ones to take us to Khubetsoana.

Be that as it may, our period leading to October 7 cannot be branded a silly season. Thanks to you Ntate Mojapela; the greatest Socialist Revolutionary.

You have not only spiced our politics to give them a compelling flavour.  You have come up with the most viable manifesto. Your proposal to have all corrupt politicians and civil servants killed is beyond any reproach.  It is what this country needs.

It is the most viable manifesto proposal that I have encountered in my nearly five decades of life in this Majesty’s Majestic Kingdom. If you become prime minister and you fully implement this proposal to its full effect and intent, I have no doubt that we will have begun the journey to the promised land.

There is of course the real risk that there will be no one left in Lesotho if your proposal is fully implemented.  But that might just be what is needed; a complete rebirth of Lesotho with a new breed of people led by Ntate Mojapela. Without a wholly new generation of honest and competent civil servants and politicians, we are doomed.

It helped that I read your full Lesotho Times interview with Bongiwe Zihlangu headlined “All corrupt leaders must be killed: Mojapela” whilst monitoring the elections in Kenya; the most corrupt country in the world.

The Kenyans flocked to the polls to vote for William Ruto; the most corrupt politician on earth. Indeed Ruto’s first act as president was a corrupt one. He appointed six corrupt judges that his predecessor, Uhuru Kenyatta, had refused to appoint after they were recommended by that country’s Judicial Services Commission but before their corrupt activities were exposed. With jejune and corrupt judges at his disposal, Ruto will smoothen his looting spree. Surely Ntate Mojapela, how can Kenyans elect a filthy rich Ruto, who cannot account for his wealth.  The man never worked a single day outside politics.  He never ran a business like you before joining politics?

That is the problem for Kenyans however. Let’s us focus on our Basotho issues. As I read your Lesotho Times interview whilst in Kenya, it echoed the seminal words of the very celebrated Kenyan academic Patrick Lumumba (no relationship to Patrice).

“In Europe, a corrupt person gets jailed; In America a corrupt person gets shamed; In Europe, a corrupt person gets exposed; In Japan and South Korea; a corrupt person gets humiliated; In China a corrupt person gets killed….In Africa (Lesotho) , a corrupt person presents himself for election and is warmly welcomed and put into office…….”

You will agree with me that Professor Lumumba is dead right. The only way of stopping that happening in Lesotho is if your proposal is fully implemented. After all, we have capital punishment on our statutes already. We don’t have to reinvent the wheel.   It (capital punishment) was – very sadly – last deployed way back in 1985.  The only problem stopping it from aggressive use is that its enforcers are the very same corrupt people.  They can’t both enforcers and victims.  They have to save their skins.

You are dead right Ntate Mojapela that Lesotho needs aggressive approaches. Murdering all corrupt civil servants and politicians is exactly in order.

That is what they do in China – the land of Xi Jinping and before him Chairman Mao and other unsavoury autocrats. The results are there for all to see. By killing all its corrupt people, China has been able to lift 400 million of its citizens out of endemic poverty. It is now the second largest economy in the world and will shortly overtake the US as the largest.

Yet in little Lesotho, we cannot feed a mere two million people. Your vow to track all those who have stolen public funds and kill them is what we desperately need right now.

You are also right to declare that.  “Basotho have become somewhat lethargic and to some extent retarded. We are a corrupt people. I have come across scores of marginalised people. I have accommodated some of them only for them to steal from me. We are swimming in corruption, killings, rape, infidelity, alcoholism etc. We have major problems.”

Your regret at Basotho voters who continue endorsing corrupt leaders – when they should vote for you as their only saviour – is wholly understandable. That is exactly what they continue doing in Kenya. Retaining political skunks like Ruto. Yet the Kenyans will cry foul when their country slides from the gutters straight into the sewer.

Those Basotho that are retarded and have scammed and stolen from you are exactly that: scum. Don’t worry about them. They are not real Socialist Revolutionaries.  You don’t need their votes.  You only need clean votes to sail into State House.

You are also right in refusing to enter coalitions with the Grand Old Parties (GOPs) of Lesotho like the LCDs, the ABCs, the BNPs, the BCPs of this world and others. After all, aren’t where we are now, because of their historic vileness?  And what of that political leader hobnobbing with an alleged abhorrent murderer who has the guts to kill people enjoying themselves in a tavern?

“They are all rotten” as you rightly declare.  You are also right about those “uneducated wealthy men” in the RFP. They need to tell us how they got their filthy lucre despite never seeing the dilapidated door of a classroom. We cannot entrust our lives in them when you our true Saviour is there. Likewise, you are right to condemn those saying Lesotho must be swallowed into South Africa.

How can any right thinking Mosotho – despite all our problems – regard handing over our country to the singing, giggling, dancing, laughing and philandering Jacob Zuma and his band of crooked supporters as a solution? Anyone who supports that proposal must be added to your list of those that must be killed.

You are right that we have enough diamonds, coal, gold, cobalt, oil, manganese and chrome, to be able to get every Mosotho a Lamborghini and three storey mansions.  We are only poverty stricken because you Ntate Mojapela is not our prime minister.

Being incorporated into South Africa is a very moronic idea. It is not only tantamount to “jumping from a frying pan into the fire……” as you put it. It’s like cutting our own throats.  South Africa is now a fully-fledged failed state with no hope of revival.

I agree with you that clean water only retains once we remove the rot at its source. You are dead right that the rot lies in the leadership we have.

Your only challenge when you come to power will be to find a hangman to implement your noble proposal. As you will know Ntate Mojapela, not many people like that job. This why it is difficult to enforce capital punishment in most countries. In Zimbabwe, 82 people on death row ended up dying to natural causes – including old age – before they could be properly hanged. That was because the Robert Mugabe regime got no response to its advertisement for a hangman for years.

You Ntate Mojapela need not have such worries.  I – Lady Scrutator – hereby makes a pledge (which I will never recant) that after you are sworn into office, I shall immediately sign up as your hangwoman.  I am prepared, ready, and capable for that task in the very unlikely event of you becoming PM.

My only fear is possible disagreements with you over how best to kill all the corrupt people. As a businessman, I am sure you would want them shot at. Nice and easy.  Or be subjected to the lethal injection (as they do in America) or be simply beheaded with a Samurai sword.

I don’t like those methods however. I prefer inflicting the most pain.  My approach is to tie the nature of the killings to the quantum of the thefts.

Those who still between M50 000 and M100 000 should be regarded as petty thieves. They can be shot with handguns at Makoanyane Barracks.  Those who steal between M100 000 and M1 million must be thrown in Mohale and Katse dams to get their bodies to fatten the fish there.  After all, the export market for Trout is one potential source of good wealth for Basotho. Those who steal between M1 million and M5 million must be tied on a tree and get stoned to death Taliban style.  For that I will need help with stoners. We can get the herdboys. Those stealing more than M5 million must be buried alive with their children watching. After all, those are the very people responsible for our current mess. They need to endure the most pain.  They are callous in their thefts and depriving Basotho of our wealth. So they deserve to be callously killed.

We can always explore other efficient ways of killing the corrupt. What is important for now is to get all Basotho to endorse your manifesto pledge that “all corrupt people must be killed” and win you enough votes for State House.

You need not worry. Your hangwoman is here. And by the way Ntate Mojapela, I will do the job for free. No need to pay me. Just like you, I am an anointed saviour of Basotho. I want nothing for my pocket. That’s what true saviours do.


p/s And by the way Ntate Mojapela, the other people I would recommend for killings are trade unionists. They are vile and silly. They have never run businesses themselves, yet they believe they know better how businesses must be run. They mobilise workers to rebel and mislead them. And when those workers lose their jobs, the trade unionists don’t take any responsibility. They would have pocketed their paltry subscriptions and enjoyed themselves at shebeens and taverns without regard to the lives they would have destroyed. These trade unions are thus proper candidates for beheading under an effective SR government. I will always be available to confer with you at State House or in Ladybrand about the other categories of people to kill. What is not in doubt is the core of your proposal. For Lesotho to become a better place, we need to kill as many miscreants as we can.


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