Cow dung does not stink as bad

Scrutator is normally not keen on delving into religious matters — especially when it’s that sort that allegedly promises suicide bombers 12 virgins yonder!

I must admit I was quite shocked this week when a top Malaysian cleric and politician fired a broadside at Muslims who enjoy the cancer stick.

Nik Aziz, the spiritual leader of Malaysia’s Pan-Islamic Party, said Muslims who smoke and try to portray themselves as pious are worse than cows which defecate on the street.

“. . . a cow which defecates in the middle of the road, (we) cannot take legal action against it because it has no brain and cannot think,” Aziz was quoted as having said by Malaysia’s state news agency Bernama.

“But human beings, who have brains, for them to do something which is wrong in religion . . . when they are in an attire which symbolises Islam, they can be regarded as being more despicable than cows.”

There we have it, folks.

Back home, how about men who do not even wink twice before dropping their zippers to pee on trees and walls?

Now, who is worse than a cow: a Muslim who smokes or a man who pees in public?

By the way, cow dung does not stink as bad as human urine.

Enter Kingsway Road if you want to punish your nostrils!

Maybe the Maseru City Council should lead the way in the fight against the indecency we see every now and then in the capital by building public toilets.

Surely we are not a medieval city that sees nothing wrong with such indecent exposure!

Scrutator will not waste her time advocating a ban against smoking in our kingdom.

The last time I urged a friend to stop smoking he told me puffing was an adult choice — just like drinking beer and making love.

But I will fight until donkeys grow horns to ensure that our men and women only zip down inside ablution facilities — or their bedrooms!

If that doesn’t happen, I will go the cow way — munch a bucketful of makoenya and deposit something this world is yet to see right in front of the mayor’s office!

And by the way where do those people who pee everywhere wash their hands?

How do they shake hands with others?

It’s time we invent a pee detector.

 

udslinging is what happened this week between ABC leader Tom Thabane and the MP for Maputsoe Nkhetse Monyalotsa.

I like it when old men relive their kindergarten days.

Remember the one about your father’s baldness looking like an airport.

Or the one about your mother’s long nose.

Thabane and Monyalotsa went back to those crèche days this week.

It started when Monyalotsa said adios to the ABC accusing Thabane of being a dictator.

Dictators are people like Idi Amin (speculated to have been a connoisseur of goulash made from human flesh), Mobutu Sese-Seko (Zaire’s looter-in- chief) and Mugabe (the madman of Zimbabwe).

Thabane twisted his face in anger and went below Monyalotsa’s belt and hit hard.

He said Monyalotsa’s departure was good riddance.

He is an old man but can still pack the punches hard.

He called Monyalotsa an ignoramus who willingly misunderstood issues in order to start fights.

He said Monyalotsa must go back to school and finish matric so that he does not continue make a fool of himself.

But Monyalotsa is a tough cookie too.

After recovering from the pain that comes from a blow below the belt he fired back with vengeance.

He said Thabane’s history was dirty. Yes, an old man with a stinking political record because he was part of a government that stole power from the people.

I reckon the two men are still licking their wounds but they must not stop the fight.

A little bit of drama in the boring politics of this country is not bad.

Thabane must continue telling Monyalotsa to go back to school because ignorance is not a virtue.

Monyalotsa must keep reminding Thabane of his history because people should not be allowed to have selective memories.

Take off the gloves boys, the real fight must begin now.

 

hat spoiled Libyan brat who calls himself the “King of Kings,” Muammar Gadaffi, was at it again this week when he stormed out of an Arab summit in Doha, Qatar, after insulting Saudi’s King Abdullah.

Gadaffi grabbed the microphone and lashed out at Abdullah calling him a “British product and American ally” which is quite an insult in the Arab world. When someone tried to quiet him Gadaffi insisted that he be allowed to speak.

“I am an international leader, the dean of the Arab rulers, the king of kings of Africa and the imam of Muslims, and my international status does not allow me to descend to a lower level,” Gadaffi said.

 

inally Scrutator would like to warn a certain fellow who has been badmouthing this paper left, right and centre to stop his mischief before she sits upon him like a tonne of bricks.

The pompous but exceptionally shallow fellow has been at it for the past three months.

Word has reached Scrutator that the chubby one pretends to like the paper but actually hates some of its staffers with a passion.

Scrutator has enough dirt on this boy but has been patiently giving the blabbermouth a long rope to hang himself.

I will mention no names yet but if he does not stop his cantankerous shenanigans I will be forced to intervene.

And when I do there will be gnashing of teeth.

 

 

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