ALLOW me Your Majesty to wish you a very happy belated 60th. I had written this column for the edition of the 13th of July 2023, four days before your actual event. However, it could not be published. Whenever space runs out in this newspaper, my column is the first to be sacrificed. Only the heavens know why. I did not mind being cast aside for the edition of the 13th however. I understood that space was indeed scarce. What with all the multitudes of corporates that participated in the bumper supplement published in this newspaper – the voice of the Kingdom – to honour your 60th? Last week, I was also omitted for the same space reasons. Then this week, I was told to change the subject as the event has passed. I refused and insisted that I be allowed to honour His Majesty. It is in that context that I am belatedly extending my wishes to you Your Majesty and to reiterate that without your graceful presence, there will not be a place called Lesotho on this earth.
We are very lucky to be blessed with you Your Majesty. You are highly intelligent, highly articulate, highly loved, and highly valuable. You are the ultimate embodiment of a cherished sovereign. You are the meaning of dignity and decency. You have been a beacon of hope and stability, a steadying presence in a beleaguered nation. You are a worthy successor to all the previous Moshoeshoes and Letsies. Lesotho is nothing without you. That’s why I ask every Mosotho with stuff in their cranium to join me in wishing you a happy diamond jubilee. I thank God that your 60th birthday coincides with your 25th anniversary as King. May the good Lord wish you many more. I am looking forward to your platinum jubilee and then your centenary. I cannot vouch I will still be around for your centenary. But if I should still be around, I will stand my ground and refuse to have this column delayed. By then, I will also have harvested enough money to buy my own space in this publication. Once again, a very happy diamond anniversary Your Majesty. I will always be proud of you. Basotho will forever be proud of you. Which is why they have – in successive Afrobarometer surveys – said they want you to be given more executive powers of state. Only you can rein in the perennial madness of our politics. Basotho repeated the same in the national outreach project for the national reforms process. Self – serving politicians are – true to style – are not listening. They say giving you more power will compromise your standing and the love we all have for you. We know that’s not true. But we just have to accept it, for now. And by the way, you are getting more handsome with age Your Majesty. For that I thank ‘M’e ‘Masenate. I pray that she remains by your side. She is also quite a beacon.
If I were you, Prof Mahao….
Our politicians remain extremely good for comic relief. They never seem to disappoint on that score. They continue with their bamboozling and crazy bid to have the three commissioners of the IEC and the electoral body’s CEO, Mpaiphele Maqutu, removed. The fact that it won’t happen does not seem to bother them. They have now actually gone to court to try their luck. They want a judgment compelling the Council of State to establish a tribunal to investigate the commissioners’ fitness to remain in office? The problem for these parties is that the local government elections are just 65 days away. None of them is campaigning on real issues. None of them is capitalising on the failures of Moruo (real or perceived). They want the commissioners of the IEC removed for simply running an October 2022 election they did not win. If these parties had won and forged yet another unwieldy coalition, they would be stroking these commissioners backs and other sensitive parts. I am particularly disappointed with Ntate Nqosa Mahao on this one. He is a highly articulate and knowledgeable lawyer and should no better, it not best. None of the reasons cited in his founding affidavit justifies firing the commissioners. No court will compel the Council of State to probe the commissioners’ simply because they misallocated PR seats and then sought legal recourse to correct their error? It is not the fault of these commissioners that local government elections were delayed. It’s the fault of successive coalitions – one of which Prof Mahao served in – which failed to avail funds for these elections. While it’s true that the delimitation of constituencies could have been done better, Scrutator fails to see how and why it can be a ground for seeking the disbandment of the IEC. Allow me to address you Prof Mahao on why you lost the elections despite your stellar manifesto. You lost the elections because you don’t have a helicopter. How did you honestly expect Basotho to vote you when you were going around promising them parsley and caviar in a dilapidated Noah while those other suspects were zooming around in helicopters that even Hans Skywalker of Star Wars fame could have found futuristic? My advice to you is simple, instead of expending loads of money in pursuit of an unachievable judgment, please save this money and invest it in a second-hand helicopter. Basotho want to see you promising them all kinds of goodies from up in the air while you look down on them through the heli’s windows? If you won’t afford a helicopter, please try a microlight (pictured). I would however not take it to the mountains myself. I can only advise you to use it around Maseru or part of Koro-Koro? It would be nice seeing you in that small gadget, zooming around in a bid to outcompete the heli tycoons in Moruo. For now, a micro light seems your only viable route to “winning” elections. Basotho are impressed by politicians who descend upon them from up the skies. The forthcoming local government elections will have nothing to do with the competence or otherwise of the IEC commissioners against whom you are spewing venom. Their outcome will depend on whether or not Basotho are still excited by helicopters. That’s where your focus ought to be Ntate Mahao. Save the effort, energy and time you are expending on Mphasa Mokhochane, Tšoeu Petlane and Karabo Mokobocho-Mohlakoane. These three – alongside Ntate Maqutu are good human beings. It’s not their role to implore Basotho not to be excited by helicopters. They only run elections. It is not their responsibility to advise you to get your own heli or microlight. They only run elections. It is your sole responsibility to diagnose why you lost elections.
Speaking of which another party called Prayer, Shawl and Light (PSL), has also joined the bandwagon of attacks on the IEC. I must say I sometimes feel for Ntate Maqutu. Having to write to such a “political party” over its non-fulfilment of electoral law prescripts must be a very unexciting task. Especially after Ntate Maqutu has to read a 10-page venomous response which makes no attempt to address the reasons advanced for wanting to deregister the party. Surely Ntate Maqutu has more pressing issues to attend to. But it’s work. It has to be done. To his huge credit, he did not have to respond to the litany of allegations raised against the IEC.
Meanwhile Prayer, Shawl and Light tells us it is Basotho’s “gift from Jesus, sent to save the nation”. Why doesn’t Prayer, Shawl and Light evoke divine power to whip Ntate Maqutu and the commissioners out of office and save Ntate Mahao a huge legal bill? Maybe I should just seek to join Prayer Shawl and Light and meet Jesus before Ntate Maqutu deregisters this “political party”. Prayer, Shawl and Light, what is your postal address for my membership form and fees please…?
Ache!!!
