IF Prime Minister Pakalitha Mosisili is yet to read a special missive from Limkokwing University students, Scrutator has urgent and critical advice for him.
Drink lots of goat milk, say your prayers and make sure an ambulance equipped with life-saving equipment is on standby.
Be very, very afraid, PM, for some young people you are sending to school with government money have unleashed a letter whose syntax will knock you off your leather chair.
Get ready for the worst epistle you have ever received in your life.
And the police, in the meantime, have to start preparing to lay attempted murder charges against the author of that gobsmacking missive.
The letter, sent to the premier’s office this week, is so lethal even the late Saddam Hussein would have loved to unleash it against the infidels.
The Queen’s language is mutilated with the liberty and arrogance of an ignoramus.
First, the letter indicates it’s coming from the office of “The Student Representative Consul”.
Scrutator just thought since Limkokwing touts itself as a university of creative technology, the innovative students might have come up with a new synonym for “council”.
By the way, Setloke Lekhela is the culprit who wrote the letter on behalf of the students.
A few lines into the body of the missive, I scurried around for a gas mask.
This was biological warfare, I reckoned!
“We take this decision to come to you as a father for your advice after having meet with the management of our school several times,” reads a decent part of the toxic letter.
“All the strikes that aroused since the opening of the school have been on the same concerns.”
Then the one that nearly sent Scrutator to her maker . . .
“We really understand your vision for the country when bring Limkokwing to Lesotho, but at the moment it seems like someone is not wishing the country to reach that dream,” the poison gushes.
“We are the future of this country and the majority of us are the members of the Lesotho Congress for Democracy and we wish it well but its seems as if someone want to sabotage or jeorpadize us with the failure in the next coming elections.”
Thank you for the revelation.
So all you need to enrol at Limkokwing, a de facto state university, is an LCD card?
And the students’ missive is there for all to see that basic secondary education is not necessary to get a place at that Malaysian outpost.
Or was the daft author trying to curry favour with the PM by claiming that the majority of Limkokwing students were LCD members?
Lekhela’s bootlicking antics would have charmed Mosisili had he managed to articulate the students’ grievances.
But then, he talks of “destortion of quality education”.
I have to mention that the spell-check on my computer kept fighting violently to make that word read “distortion”.
How many legs does this “destortion” creature have?
Then there is “obstraction of vission 2020”.
Were I not a law-abiding citizen, I would have wanted to pummel Lekhela with my own bare hands!
Before you further advertise the pathetic calibre of students at that backyard college, go back to high school, pass your matric and enrol at a proper university.
By the way, Scrutator doubts the LCD needs such dunderheads who can’t even spell their names under pressure.
Yes, because they won’t even know where to put the X!
Who needs such dimwits in their youth league?
Neko Ntsane is really techno-wise.
He knows how to Google, copy and paste.
But then, he is a thief too!
So there I was, rummaging through the pages of that freebie after a long, long time.
And nothing has changed.
“Lectures disrupt examinations,” screamed the freebie that claims to be the most informative newspaper in the kingdom.
Scrutator, always trying to give people the benefit of doubt, thought it was a question of a blundering sub-editor who is prone to making such gaffes on headlines until I read the story.
The shocking headline was then repeated on Page 2 — there in bold font for the whole world, including impressionable children, to see!
Now to the story.
“The members of the Lesotho University Teachers and Researchers Union yesterday broke on strike that disrupted examinations yesterday,” said the paper.
Any clue what this means?
“The riots intruded first year students who were busy writing their semester courses final examinations,” it continued.
I gave up.
Then there was this week’s issue.
The Sothonglish made me cry.
But something caught Scrutator’s eye as she was about to toss the paper into the dustbin.
There was one well-written piece in that paper.
I immediately asked myself why on earth they were not making the author of that article the editor of the weekly freebie.
His name is ‘Neko Ntsane, a young man who apparently claims to be a senior ICT consultant.
Scrutator, being a techno-wise lady too, did exactly what Mr Smart Columnist does.
I Googled his instalment for this week.
And it turned out Ntsane had lifted word for word from a post on the internet!
Unashamed of his thieving business, Ntsane even has a picture to go with his weekly dosage of stolen copy.
“Given the tight security integrated into Linux, it is difficult to take advantage of vulnerability on the computer, but some programmers have found ways around the security measures,” writes Ntsane in his column.
If you think Scrutator harbours any malice, copy and paste that part into Google and see for yourself.
The entire article is plagiarised!
That’s what we call it in journalism and it’s a cardinal sin.
Being an ICT consultant, I wonder what else he has done for unsuspecting clients and keen students.
Scrutator has some advice for the foolish brother.
If you want to be really smart, stop masquerading as a specialist, go back to school, grasp the lessons, have your own ideas and stop passing off other people’s work as your own!