Big battle to let go

Lesotho Times
7 Min Read

Steaming It Off


A FRIEND of mine recently read to me one of her latest beautiful pieces that explored the complex phenomenon of “letting go”.

Well, we need to first face the fact that some people are very bad at letting go — they just do not know how to. They clutch at the remnants and every bit of miscellany and memories of whatever their loss may be.

This brings up so many scenes and emotions for different states.

On the one hand, they could be heart-wrenching to watch, making you bleed from the inside. Sometimes you burn up with embarrassment when watching someone get all pathetic!

We have all lost a loved one at one point or the other in our lives and from the very moment you hear the news about the loss, disbelief is one of the first things that set in. You refuse to believe that they are gone, and this makes it harder to let go!

For some folk it becomes a daily battle to live — to live without this person they have lost! Every single day is torture to go through, for they feel lost in their present circumstances.

This is the type of case I think is heart-wrenching to watch!

For some, there is nothing you can say or do to console them. It seems life has ceased to exist for them, yet they are still here with us.

They become a shell of their former self, and it can only go downhill for them from there unless they snap out of it and face the world again.

Some rise from their misery and decide to get back on the horse called life, while others just shrivel up and die — literally and figuratively.

As the person trying to give support, all you have to do is be strong and very patient. Do not ever give up on them.

Sometimes letting go does not even involve a very serious, life-altering matter — although some people would disagree.

Many of us have that ugly T-shirt, pair of pants, old teddy bear, hat or just some garment which you have had for years and do not want to let go whatsoever because it is comfortable, or it has some sort of memories attached to it.

You know it is ugly and terrible, but the comfort it gives you surpasses any jibe you get from anyone and everyone. And should anyone dare to destroy it, there will be hell to pay! Kapa joang?

People use different tactics to let go.

I know this chick. We will call her Jezebel.

She literally scares the “bejesus” out of her ex-mates in the act of letting go. She tries to deal with the loss of a boyfriend by scaring him as badly as she possibly can — with threats, taunts and just plain nastiness.

It’s sad to watch but also somehow fascinating. For her it is not really letting go, but it ends up working for her because the “prey” runs so fast and so far away that it gets quite easy for her to get over him and then find herself another prey.

Shoo! Wouldn’t want to be any of those guys. Some still haven’t gotten over that period!

To let go does not and has never been giving up. Letting go is simply moving on and I am afraid this little bit of information just goes above some folks’ heads and leaves them miserable . . . until they open their ears, eyes and hearts.

There are some ways to let go, simple methods and not exactly tried and tested as such but they do not take a rocket scientist to figure out — just simple common sense.

Do not bottle it in. Cry if you want to but, hey, do not have the floodgates constantly open.

Crying does help, but it solves nothing. You can even scream, shout or do whatever to let out those pent-up emotions.

Talk about it, write about it, sing, just express it in some different way, and do not hold back on your feelings. But always make sure you are letting it out to relevant people.

I know it is quite easy to just load off on a stranger, but is that stranger really willing to listen? And if it is a friend, is it a type of friend who you can really support you? Do not just open up to anybody.

Always be grateful and appreciate the presence of other things and people in your life — and absence too!

Maybe you are not letting go for the fear of being lonely. Do this: appreciate being alone!

Believe me, turning that feeling of loneliness into your “me time” makes you appreciate yourself, your life, and even your loss. You can fill that void with something worthwhile, something constructive and fulfilling.

Letting go does not necessarily mean forgetting. It simply means coming to terms with the current situation of being without — that what you cared for, what gave you comfort, pleasure and other great emotions.

So one great way of making peace is keeping the memory alive. Kapa joang?

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